Author's note: Terrible spelling used here to illustrate the amount of raw stupidity client was echoing forth from her face-hole. The client was of an advanced age and was speaking painfully slowly.
Client: Imma change my paaaasswerd.
Tech: Ok, click on, "Reset Password"
Client: Ok! Umm... it says "Account Number" and asks me a question.
Tech: Fill in that form.
Client:Oh! ok!
Tech: Yep, then it should bring up a form that lets you enter a new password.
Client: Can it be Christmas?
Tech: It can't be any word that could be in the dictionary.
Client: Can it be blueberry?
Tech: It can't be any word that might be listed in a dictionary.
Client: Can it be Christine?
Tech: It can't be a name because those may or may not be listed in the dictionary, and cannot contain personal information.
Client: Can it be Charlie?
Tech: No.
Client: How about 333dog?
Tech: You password cannot contain repeated characters, or dictionary words.
Client: Can it be Pepsi.
Tech: No. That violates the no-dictionary-word requirement and the password needs to be between 8-14 characters.
Client: That many?
Tech: Yes... That many...
Client: OK!! Imma try it mahselfs nao an' uh Iee call ya bak if it no work.
Tech: Ok...
*click*
*wait 2 minutes*
*ring*
Client: Do I click on da change passwerd buttun?
Tech: YES!
Client: Well imma click over here again...
Tech: *Facepalm*
Client: It say whu? Lawgin??
*more random clicking*
Client: Well.. that dunt werk. Now whut?
Tech: Go back to the page and click on the "Reset your password" link.
Client: I dun even know wheer I am anymore... *random clicking*
Tech: Go directly to the address bar.
Client: Where's that?
Tech: At the very top middle of your internet window, it is a text box, click it.
Client: I dun have one of those...
Tech: At the top. It is there.
Client: I dun even see nutin like that.
Tech: Its there. At the top. Text box. You type in it. You put webpages in there.
Client: I dun really know what ur talkin bout. I ain't good at no computer. *random clicking* Wut um aii dooin?
Tech: ...
Client: OH SHOOT!
Tech: ...
Client: Ok, I typed it in, now what?
Tech: Press 'Enter'
Client: Where's 'enter'?
Tech: Two rows directly below backspace.
Client: I don't got that one.
Tech: It may be listed as 'Return'
Client: Ok, I got that one...
Tech: Press that key.
Client: NUTIN.
Tech: Type it again. Click the Go button, or sometimes there is an arrow button.
Client: NUTIN LIEK THAT.
Tech: Click the text box. Did you do that.
Client: Ya.
Tech: Press 'Return'.
Client: It gone un werked that way.
Tech: Yea... I know...
Client: An I click on?
Client: Reset. Your. Password.
*Several minutes later*
Client: NUTIN I TIPE IN GOIN THRU!
Tech: I will generate you a password.
Client: OH GOOD.
Tech: You still need to type it in the box and set it though.
Client: Aww...
*Tech generates 10-character mixed case alpha-numeric password because he can.*
Tech: You password is 7Ihs51jdY6.
Client: HAWD ON A MINUTE! IMMA GET UH INK PEN! Where's that damn pen..... Now I can't find paper. IT OK I GOT PAPER AN-UH INK PEN ON DU TABLE OVA DAIR. Imma go by du table... uh huh..
Tech: Ok... *repeats password*
Client: OK IMMA TRY IT ON MAH OWN NAO I CALL YU BAK! OH HI JOHN! *click*
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